In 2015, I started messaging this person that I believed had gone ahead in the path I wanted to take. I chased him hard for resources and guidance but unfortunately, he was too busy, so I let go. In 2016, I started a conversation with another person I regarded as someone who could help me and guide me. He also only replied to my emails once, and that was it.
After these two situations, I decided to stop looking for guidance from the outside, and I began to develop myself. I would read long hours in the areas I needed advice. I would watch videos. I would teach the subjects at events and seminars. I did many free consultations for people. I took online courses. I attended many meetings where they were teaching the subject matter. I once paid 500usd to participate in a conference online to connect with many thought leaders on the subject. Over time, I became better, and I became known in different ecosystems as a budding leader on the same subject matter for which I was looking for guidance and hand-holding from those I believed had gone ahead.
The meat of the matter is this. In January 2020, the person I messaged in 2015 reached out to me to headline his annual conference. In March 2021, the person I messaged in 2016 was ready to fly me to Europe for a month to develop a curriculum on the same subject matter. I have become a mentee to these two people, and I can say that we share a mutually value-driven relationship. The tables turned from me chasing them four years ago to them chasing me fours years after.
What are the lessons here;
1. The door to some mentorship relationship will not open by asking people to mentor you; they open by the value you create, visible to the supposed mentors.
2. You will not get replies to your messages or open arms from many people you believe would mentor you. That is how it works.
3. You will appreciate later the fact that some of those people did not answer you.
4. The people that did not open their doors to you for guidance are not wicked; your help was not just with them.
5. The people you used to chase will chase you eventually if you don’t stop creating value and working on yourself.
6. Looking for mentors when you are supposed to be working on yourself is a major silent mistake of our age.
7. What are you bringing to the mentorship relationship?
He gives understanding to the simple.
Oluwaseun David ADEPOJU
I got loads of value.
I got loads of value.
Thank you for sharing this very insightful story. I’ve learned a lot from this.